Moby-Dick

Friday, January 13, 2006


Sometime this afternoon I will set my coffee mug down, strap myself into boots and parka and make like the mythological wendigo on my snow packed driveway. I have been shoveling driveways nearly as long as I can remember. Canadian children are born with toque and shovel. We all move snow for different reasons. Some of us build fantastic domed shelters and live out the harsh cold winter in an ice palace, feasting on the bountiful blubber of our prey. Some of us like to defy Mother Nature and keep our socks dry and still more of us don't like the contentious glares we receive from our neighbors and yes even our partners.

It is with all of these matters on mind that I will will begin the utterly futile practice of shoveling my driveway. The stuff just melts in spring and doesn't stop coming till then. What besides the above mentioned socks could the purpose be? Are we trying to fool our friends and neighbors..."Look its winter everywhere but for the ice glazed tarmac of my driveway" Whatever the reasoning, the dye is cast and its white. I will now go outside and take a photo of the beast I intend to slay.Forty feet long and ten feet wide, on cold winter days I more closely resemble the biblical Jonah.

Now the LORD had prepared a great fish to swallow up Bryce. And Bryce was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights.

I'm in Heaven!

4 comments:

b1alpha said...

This might be the best picture I have ever seen of the 'driveway shovel' I want you to thow snow over here on van island since you look like you are way up there throwing snow everywhere for no reason, up in the clouds. lol oh bush you are a silly demi-god, throw harder !

The Lazy Iguana said...

My neighbors could give me the look all winter and it would not change the fact that I just do not shovel snow. Let it pile up, it will melt sooner or later.

I might be tempted to get a snowblower. I would get one that had just enough power to move the snow from my driveway to the neighbors driveway.

Then again, I have a truck! Get a snow plow attachment anf a front hitch and just drive the driveway clear.

Zanitram said...

Johnah 2
10And the LORD spake unto the fish, and it vomited out Jonah upon the dry land.

Were you delivered bryce? Perhaps fervernt soughting of thine LORD shast bringeth great deliverance from thy abominable foe.

Carrie said...

at 1st glance, i thought your post was titled:

random deep THROAT, not thought...lmao....was all excited!

now then...yes i know all about the shoveling...but this winter our snow has been substituted for rain...if i wanted that crap assed weather i would have remained in vancouver...fuck.
cute pics btw.