Washing the Cat

I recently adopted a new family member. Unlike most people I possess an excess amount of common sense, markedly tainted by a certain dread foreboding. I know that pets are a heavy responsibility, nearly outweighed by the comfort of that companionship.So I am loath to over extend myself but after much arm twisting I relented to the demands from friends and foe and opened my home to a fat British Long Hair. He is an amiable sort of fellow. Devilishly charming as most cats but bestowed with some sort of divine favor that allowed him to effectively breach the communication barrier between man and cat. Somehow this furry fiend was able to maintain a layer of fat unthinkable in any feral beast. This cat had made an art of the 'mind trick' and I admired his sheer domination. The one caveat emptor, his long neglected fur coat and resulting pestilent dander. I take pride in all my possessions, no matter the status of civil liberty nor the species. I gave that fat fucker a bath today. He didnt like getting wet but that hardly matters, he is squeaky clean and pleasantly fluffy with an ocean fresh, anti-dandruff odor. He can thank me later.