Watch Your Back

Monday, July 25, 2005


I left my house today, I had to go get smokes. I went to the gas station and pulled up in front of the door, went inside got my smokes thanked the lady walked back out to my car jumped in and started to pull out of the gas bar when some dude in his girlfriends Sunfires ripped into the gas station and screeching his tires to a halt directly in front of my car blocking my exit. He honked his horn at me and suggested I should reverse the direction of my car to move away from him. I am not what you would consider a rude person. I am a polite and reasonable individual. But I have a very low bullshit threshold. Which is to say I dont like bullies. Nobody should be forced to do anything on account of someone elses perceived opinion of themselves. I wasnt going to back up my car because some jerk has deleusions of grandeur. So I gave him the universal symbol of NO. He then quite sensibly reversed his car and gave me room to proceed, which I did at a very slow pace....Mad Dogging him the whole time. Which is when he decided to ram my automobile. He burned his tires made a lot of smoke and stopped just inches from my passenger door. Now there are three reasons I didnt panic when he did that:
1) I am clinically insane.
2) Bullies thrive on fear.
3) He was driving a way nicer car.

I then suggested he get out of his car and we discuss etticate...although the words I used were more to the effect of "Hey you! Want to dance? You want to dance with me?" Which he apparently did not; as he then reversed his car the better part of 15ft from me giving me wide berth. I opened the door to my car and put a foot out before a little voice inside my now adreneline swollen head said...."Hey think of the consequences, relax and just let it go for now...kill him later, when there are no witnesses." Which I thought was very good advice. In retrospect I can reflect on the whole incident with a certain amount of pride. Did I sink to his level? maybe but some people feel God-like behind the wheel and some people need learning. Would pacifism got me to my destination sooner and with less threats? The answer is yes but would I have self respect? I dont know. The moral highground is a slippery slope. Maybe next time I should try to be meek and docile.

8 comments:

whitney said...

will do

gadget said...

my favorite part is the explanation for your ability to stay calm...oh, and "Nobody...forced...percieved opinion of themselves"

sCruuw said...

You showed some mad restraint not jacking his nicer car! Take a bow!

K-Prime said...

I didn't even know being meek and docile were part of your personality traits.

Anonymous said...

zen style, nice! never stoop, always the motto. besides the best education you could grant him would to be to say, "hey there i didn't appreciate that." this would of course be best told after you broke into his house, tasered him, duct tape a la cart (especially the bikini line) and forcibly fed an entire book of etiquette and manners that were dipped in hot chilis, wasabi and ground iron shavings.
sometimes a little lesson is all that is needed to, "awaken," a sleeper.

Carrie said...

u didn't stoop to his level, if u did, u wud have become an asshole. u simply stood your ground. commendable.

besides, like u cud always kill him later, with no witnesses around....but really, wud it be worth the effort. i think not.

jackasses in fine cars make for having a small penis....i'm just sayin.

thedeviluno said...

ya mitzee I know what you are saying, but for all my postering I think maybe being a little less righteous would serve everyone.

B said...

interesting