Man vs Self vs Nature vs Neighbor

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

With winter officialy over, the glacier snow pact covering my homeland has begun to receed and the passage to my loot shed has been restored. Like Ali Babas cave it is stacked to the roof with all kinds of forgotten treasure. I was basking in my booty when I discovered an old box and while rubbing the dust from the lettering, unleashed a powerful portable table saw! Talk about granting wishes! My father had bestowed this gift upon myself a thousand years before and while I could not think of a singular practical application for the bizzare puzzle box, I thanked him nonetheless, stashed it in my proverbial 'Cave of Wonder' and promptly forgot about it. Dark winter months can inspire a man to do great things.
I had some left over pickets from a fence I built last summer (to keep my pricess locked up) and the best thing to cut with a jagged saw is wood. So I cast caution to the wind, threw away the intruction booklet, assembled the unit and got to work breaking it right away. The first 1x5 I tried to rip bucked on the blade and jammed it up real good. This didnt suprise me of course, I know I'm gonna fuck shit up.
The suprise was the ambush my neighbor had planned. He unleashed an old man's warcry and broke past my defensive perimeter at a death march before charging into the fray swinging timely advice and common sense. He had the advantage but I quickly recovered with a strong rally around my garden. I had lost the initiative with the jammed board but my garden could be easily defended even against a superior force. Eventually my neighbor surrendered and withdrew. It had been long entrenched battle and my casualties were high. With night falling I retreated indoors to die another day.