Yeah so I woke up grumpy. Sometimes I wake up in the mornings and for whatever reason sleeping was a better experience than being awake. I was having this dream where I was like getting my swerve on with these two sisters I used to know from 4-H like way back in the day. When you wake up married with a list of chores to do none of which involve nailing Hot twin sisters, well it can be a little disapointing.
My subconcious certainly has more fun than the rest of me. Carl Jung said something about the Shadow we cast being greater than the Ego mask we wear and you'know I gotta agree. I now use my waking convictions to shield myself from unpleasant circumstances of the ordinary variety for example mean people are suffering stress, bad driver are late, friends read my blog and dont need to call me. I can place events as being inside or outside my sphere of influence and within context. I think its the only thing that keeps me sane. It doesnt matter whether what I perceive is real or not it agrees with the observations of others and requires no deeper examinations. No Schrödinger's cat to be alive or dead or both.
Sometimes I wish my shadow would take over my Ego a la Dr Heckle, I might be worse for wear but Id have way more stories to tell and this blog would be like ten times better. Blog entries would start like this.....So I got some sexually transimitted disease and decided to choke a bitch. Insead my blogs are like my feelings got hurt work sucks oh woe is me...when will I become the Wizard of Id? Will there be a catalyst? Will I be walking past an S&M store and impulsively enter and ask "Do you happen to know the time? and by the way, when is the next gang bang? Inhibitions and resposibilities prevent me from rising to the dizzying heights of hedonism that my reptile mind deems appropriate.
I ditched the college today and I ditched Golfing with my crew. Why? I dont know, it might have something to do with self loathing or too much weight on one side of the scales. An inability to micro manage the responsibilities I have. A shirking of duty. Im just too simple a person to carry around a leather bound calender with appointments and meetings. Would I maximize my fun levels if I could slip it *fun* in between a 1pm Tea Party and a 4pm Dance recital? Just the thought sets my mind off like a March Hare.
I was talking to this blonde that works at Golds yesterday and I mentioned George Michaels hit song "Faith" and she didnt know what I was talking about, like I had been speaking english and suddenly went all anachronistic on her like some rogue time traveller with no respect for paradox.
Act 3 Scene 28 "The Devil You Know"
Uno enters Golds Gym. The blonde behind the desk adjusts her hair and smiles.
The weather is really quite lovely isnt it? Reminds me of the time that Pompei erupted, burying the jewel of the Roman empire under a heap of molten ash.
Are you my Grampa?
God kill me now.