The Universe Rewards the Worthy

Monday, April 16, 2007

So I went to Tim Hortons for a coffee yesterday and pulling up to the parking lots the drive thru line up is insane, maybe a dozen cars and trucks. So as I pull up towards the shop this psycho bitch revs her engine and blocks off two lanes of traffic to get in the drive thru line ahead of me. Now I had no intention of sitting in that line for any amount of time, cause my brain is big and I know that there are two cash registers with no line up inside. But this bitch is dumb and rude and has no class or courtesy so she just blocks the road with her fucking plastic SunFire. Eventualy the drive thru moved an inch and she was able to pull out of oncoming traffic and let me through and as I passed her I carefully and slowly mouthed the word *B I T C H* so she can see my opinion of her self absorbed antics. Then I parked and went into Tim Hortons my coffee was ready before I finished paying and I was out the door in seconds. But as I pull out of the parking lot and on to the main road I can see the Drive thru hasnt even moved. I drive by extra slow and make eye contact with the bitch again. She sees me I see her and I hold up my coffee and Donut and sorta move them in a taunting guesture of both triumph and mockery. " See this shit bitch? Yeah thats right I didnt have to fuck over anyone to get what I wanted and You are still sitting in the drive thru not even having placed an order. HAHAHAHA In your face assholes.

8 comments:

DredoOooOo said...

I praise THEE and wish I had balls a big and brassy as your because so many times have I wanted to do what you have done...

The Lazy Iguana said...

Awesome. One time I was at a store buying a "lobster assassination kit" for $5. The kit consisted of a tickle stick, a catch net, a mesh bag, a pair of work gloves, and a lobster measuring device.

Anyway the place was packed because idiots put off buying a lobster stamp till the last minute. So I park the car (full size old station wagon) and go in. The store opens and I grab my kit pay for it and leave.

Someone had parked illegally and blocked my car in. So I go back in and ask who was in the lowered yellow truck and could they please move the thing so I could leave.

Someone standing in the lobster stamp line said it was his truck, and I could just wait for him to get out of the line, which he was going to be in for another 45 minutes at least. I protested and he said "move the truck yourself or wait".

So I moved the truck. I used the station wagon. It was already old and beat up anyway. What was one more dent in the bumper? So I push the lowered truck out of my way, removing his rear bumper in the process. The yellow spot on the bumper polished right off.

I put up more Iguana Music. I think you know the words to the song already.

UNO said...

It doesnt pay to be a jerk.

The Lazy Iguana said...

I was much younger, and drove a much crappier car at the time.

It was a battle tank. The civilian version of the Abrams M1 main battle tank.

The guy should have picked a nice shiny new $70,000 Mercedes to block in.

hotgurl_i said...

Boy you got pretty mad about that. hahahah I would have been folded over if I saw that. Move to Nelson with me Bushido.

UNO said...

PAYBACK IS A BITCH

Darth Forehand said...

Niiiice.

Dieman said...

Dude, that is an AWESOME story. I love that, especially the slow-mo "look what I got" thing at the end. Classy. Pure class, my friend. Stick it to the assholes!