Hydra Psychosis ( no editing )

Thursday, June 29, 2006

So I sold my PSP to my cousin J, who frequently posts inarticulate remarks on my blog. He is totaly pumped to have it and Im relieved. I just didnt have the time to spend fiddling with it. It seems I now must justify my laziness. If I want to feel good about sitting around doing nothing I would have to either previously excersice or at least clean the house a bit.


My brain is not a singular concioussness. My mind is like the mythological Hydra, the ten headed serpent. Wether this time share arrangement is a result of trauma or insanity I know or care not. All I know is that my inner monologue is more of an inner dialoge. With arguments presented in point and counter point my decisions are made by comittee. Playing with a toy has been unanimously ruled unproductive by the governing council of my mind. I dont mean to suggest that I have split personalities as these fractal moderators are more of a decalogue of emotion incarnate. A prism of motivations and goals, each competing to fulfill its own tasks and none developed to a degree where they might ressemble Abraham Lincon or any shared trait with Dr. Jeckle. Im quite sure these emotional conflicts are across the board and shared by every monkey with the capacity to reflect upon their accomplishment,


Lately I have been feeling my mortality and that time is finite and it stands to reason to make the most it. Personal acheivement and growth becomes a standard one must live by. There may be no accounting for my behavior but what tenents I hold myself to must be maintained and carefully managed. There is no authority that will punish me for my tresspases beyond the ghost of my mothers voice which echoes in the hollow catacombs that form the foundation of my moral compass. Her words of reason buried beneath the superstructure of experince, barely able to support the weight of what I have witnessed. That right and wrong exist is hard to quantify and that I should spend my time as if it were the most precious commodity is as much a product of fear as it is reason. I can list my accomplishments and stare at the receipts and never be satisfied with the result. The pursuit of happiness has no finish line.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm thoroughly impressed with your capacity to play with words. It's a pleasure to read your dialogue.

Anonymous said...

in the spirit of in the momentent and unedited....
't'wasnt so much her, lyin heart
as it was her cheatin' sphincter'
hey!

Anonymous said...

man, you should publish that...
#J

thedeviluno said...

I need an editor and while Im at it a scribe.

Anonymous said...

i can keep living unedited, what i need is a fluffer
t

MY NAME IS DRE said...

So I was going to sign up for this hole blog thing, but they wouldnt let me use Dre, or Dredo and since thats MY Name... besides the big black guy, Im not signing on to this stupid blog... I like yours, makes me not miss home so much, but for now...
BLOG THIS!! and I dont mean that in a nice way

Kafka said...

In the world of commuter culture, the PSP (or any of the latest portable gaming systems) is virtually indispensable. I've exclusively been on trains and buses the past few days and have found it the perfect getaway from the bland world of commuter pergatory. Love my PSP!

Having said that, if you're either at home or at work (and you spend little time in between) then your PSP will likely be relegated to bathroom diversions. Not a bad place for it, but nonetheless not enough to justify the 300.00$.

Darth Forehand said...

John Locke wrote that happiness is only in the pursuit of an end, not in accomplishing it. He probably wasn't the first one to write this but his name is pretty easy to remember.

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